Love the one one you're with.

Love the one you're with.

When I first snapped this photo at the Revolution exhibit (focused on the 60's era) at the NYC public library last summer, I translated it to mean - love, appreciate, acknowledge the unique qualities your partner brings to a relationship. Or maybe it can be interpreted as another iteration of the cliche about the grass not always being greener. Given the context of the exhibit, a time of civil rights, gay rights, women's rights and free love - it probably was more likely a precursor to the "love is love" slogan we hear today.

However, in this moment, on this Valentine's Day, at this point in my life specifically, I choose this slogan as a declaration of self-love (and that is also something pretty fucking revolutionary).

I'm the one I'm with.

Truly.

Always and forever.

This year I've learned to pour my energy into making myself stay with myself (even when I don't want to, even when it is hard, through the mistrusts of my mind, and the inconsistency of my commitment). After all I have already done this for many a man, so why not tend to both the beautiful and the broken in me. I've learned to do things that make me feel happy, nourished, and heard (part of this means carving out time to write and to create, to meditate, to read and reflect) instead of relying on someone else to fill those deep-seated and very valid needs. I've set expectations and high standards for the life I want to live, and I am finding ways to be as equally forgiving when I fail as I have been to the men I have dated when they have failed.

I have come so far in loving myself, and I know I still have some distance to go. But I'm way more secure and confident in who I am, and in who I want to be, and in what I want now from relationships - especially the one I have with myself. I am better at setting boundaries and more importantly at keeping them. I take more time to be still now and to listen - to the longings of my soul, to the words of my friends, and to the teachings of nature.

I have spent so much time - too much time - beating myself up for everything I get wrong. Now I'm writing this love letter as a reminder of all I have done right.

I am adventurous. Curious. Fun. I am full of laughter. I am resilient and restless in the pursuit of my dreams. I make people feel safe.

So today, whether you are in an intimate relationship with another human being or not, I encourage you to get involved in an intimate relationship with yourself.

I encourage you to take time today to write a love letter to yourself! And if you are someone who is already starting with the excuses about how you are too busy, too stressed, to fill in the blank - maybe just start with a post-it note!

Please take two seconds to share in the comments even one word that describes something lovely about yourself! We all benefit from people who are able to recognize the immense gifts they have to offer to the world.