In honor of teacher appreciation week (even when we don't quite feel appreciated -- and I know I

So, in an attempt to be a better teacher I made a real effort this semester to build student reflection opportunities into my ENG1020 course.

I asked students how they prepared for their essays? How much time they spent on them? Did they use the resources available to them: the writing center, tutoring, smarthinking, ME! How much effort did they put into brainstorming and revising? What did their process look like? What could they have done better?

Did they find the course well organized? Was I clear in my expectations of them? Did I meet the learning outcomes and objectives of the course? Did I provide timely feedback? What could I have done better?

The responses to the above prompts were overwhelming positive. The students, as a majority, seemed to really enjoy the class and more importantly they left with the ability to self-reflect. One student had this to say, "[T]here were two major lessons I learned from this class that will stick with [me] forever. One...is to always self-reflect. Self-reflection is something that I [had] never really done in any of my classes. It’s...helpful because it gives a outlook as a whole on what you learned. If it’s reflecting on the assignment all the way to life itself...This was the best English class I ever had to take and that’s because of the hard work we all put in to make this a successful semester. Thank you professor for an amazing learning experience for me." Many students echoed the sentiments of the student quoted above. In fact, of the 20 or so course reviews I received there was only one that was less than flattering. And of course, that is the one I obsess about. That I worry about. That makes me doubt what I do and how I do it.

In addition to saying that I talk about myself too much, my critic also had this to say, "This semester of English 1020 was not that great or great as it could be. I felt that we did not focus or emphasize on skill or techniques to improve our writing skill during class hours. When we would come to class I felt that for the majority of the semester we talked more about racism and injustice which took away from learning writing techniques. When we complete written assignment and you correct them, you identify and take away points for grammar issues but I feel that we do not go over these things in class for us to have an idea on what is expected for our written assignments. I do understand that you give the option to come see after class or during your office hours to get additional help with assignments or a better understanding of what we are doing, but I feel that in English class we need to learn English and review some of the standards you require for the written assignments you give to us in class."

Here was my response, " I'm sorry you had such a negative experience in the class. I tried to illustrate what my expectations were for your essays through activities such as creating the narrative rubric together as a class, and doing in-class writing of specific sections of the essay such as constructing effective thesis statements and engaging introductions, and then work-shopping those elements of an essay together as a class. I also spent a day on the top ten grammar mistakes students make and how to correct them and pulled up specific errors in student writing throughout the semester followed by discussion on what could have been done differently and better. I hope you find more engagement in other classes as you continue your journey at Tri-C. I appreciate your presence in class and your honest feedback."

I've been criticized before for the content I have students write about in class; some students don't like to confront real world realities and have little interest in using the written word to evoke positive change in their communities. They complain that I encourage civic engagement and service-learning, and that I often reference psychology and sociology in an "ENGLISH" course. My response is this:

While students should leave any given course with some answers, (e.g. what a fragment is, when to use a semi-colon, how to construct an argument paper) my ultimate goal is that they leave my classroom with many more questions.

After taking my courses, I hope that they look at the world a little differently, are open to possibility, become curious enough to wonder why at all things, and courageous enough to facilitate change. I want them to seek answers, but never settle on them, and, in doing so to reclaim that sense of curiosity, that is, unfortunately, often lost throughout years in our education system. It is my aim to teach students that hardly ever does there exist only one answer or interpretation; rather that the ability to produce various discourses is the crux of all admired poetry and literature, of all art for that matter. While I appreciate the elevated ideas of the great thinkers, writers, and artists which I expose students to, their response to these scholars is just as fascinating. It is the ongoing conversation between writer, reader, critic, and scholar that I explore within the course of my classes.

I refuse to shy away from sensitive subjects in my classroom, and often choose readings and videos dealing with gender, race, and socio-economics to prompt our conversations and writing. Students have a lot to say about these issues, and instead of pretending they do not exist, I use the class as a platform to dialogue and deconstruct them. Discussion helps students unpack their feelings about these topics, and through conversations with their peers, and an abundance of group work, they are able to understand concepts such as audience and tone, connotation and denotation, concession and refutation.

To me higher education should be about so much more than knowing where to place a comma or how to diagram a sentence. College should be about changing the way students think about certain things, opening their eyes to possibilities, and seeing what contributions they can be making in the world.

I want to be a part of a process that helps students to appreciate that the world is inter disciplinary and that there is a much greater space outside the classroom walls where their ability to read, write, and think critically will not only be a benefit to them, but can be used to empower others. I want their definition of community to broaden beyond campus, college, city, and street so that they can “live lives of dignity and purpose…channel knowledge to human ends…[and] promote the public good” (Gottlieb).

While my educational philosophy was lost on one student, I must hold on to the hope that others have found his criticisms of me, to be moments of great learning for them. As the semester comes to an end, I'm trying (really hard) to hold on to this student's words instead: "I liked the fact that you don’t think English is just about reading books and typing papers, but just to think more about what really goes on in the world...I can’t stress enough how I really really really loved the 'I am from' poem you had us do. When we were first assigned this assignment, I had no clue on what to write about. When we had to do those narrative essays, I thought to myself 'well let me try this poem again'. I always had a story to tell but I’m very uncomfortable talking about it, but once I saw how open you were talking about your story to the class it was really touching to me and I thought that this would be the perfect time to tell my story. So yes, my narrative essay was about my story and experience when I had a little more weight on me. Everything that I said in the 'I am from poem' was true, the story part of my essay was a little mixture of the person I interviewed and myself. I know the assignment wasn’t supposed to be about me, but I felt that this was the perfect time to tell my story that I’ve always wanted to do. I wanted to thank you because I never shared my story with anyone but you and writing it in one of my essays was never a thought in my mind. I didn’t know what to expect on my grade. I didn’t know if you were going to like it or whatever the outcome might have been, but I took the risk. Once I found out that I got an A on it and you said that it was powerful I was very touched and cried. You made me think more about myself as a person and to not let what you’re going through or been through stop you. You didn’t only teach me English, you also taught me how to be a better person... I don’t talk much, so you probably never knew these things but yeah, I am in a better mindset now and you helped me get to that point. I just appreciate you and I wanted to say thank you again for the time we shared, you did a phenomenal job teaching the class."

This student barely peeped a word all semester, but as she handed her final reflection in at my desk she leaned in and hugged me. It was totally unexpected and totally lovely!

So for all of you who doubt that what you do makes a difference - especially during this week of final exams when students are exhausted and your patience with them is running thin, please remember that you most certainly, unequivocally do. I read a quote years ago (that now I can't find) that said something along the lines of teachers must remember that sometimes their impact is not understood by their students until years and years down the road. I can only hope that statement is true, and that those students I feel like I failed, perhaps one day look back and find value in the stories we shared and the words we wrote.